Church Slogan

I was trying to come up with a church slogan, you know, for marketing purposes. I want to develop a slogan that will portray our values, yet be light hearted and slightly evil. Something like:

• First Imperialist: You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
• First Imperialist: Enter to learn, go forth to serve me.
• First Imperialist: The original Man in Black!
• First Imperialist: If following a Sith lord is wrong, then I don't want to be right!
• First Imperialist: To boldly go - wait that one's taken.
• First Imperialist: Don't judge till you've walked a mile in my black gloves (hey, I don't wear moccasins - they make my toes chafe).
  
• First Imperialist: Cause Evil is more fun.
• First Imperialist: Cause the good guys are woosies (not to be confused with Wookies).
• First Imperialist: Church was never so fun (or Evil).

You see my problem, so many good options to choose from. Feel free to mention your favorite, or come up with one of your own in the comments section. Your vote, of course, does not matter in the least, since, as an evil dictator - I just do whatever I want - like raise taxes (or tithing in this case) to make it happen. Yes, uh, tithing is now 11.5% of your income. What can I say - inflation is rampant.

Rev Darth