Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Disney-Vader Land


Darth Rev has taken a vacation to Disneyland, and spent a little bit of time in Tomorrowland improving his image to the younglings. There were mixed reviews:

CNN: Darth Vader has been working on improving his image by being a pincushion for little Jedi in training.

AWN (All Wookie Network): Woooog Awrrawg Wooook Sluuuur Woog

RAT (Rebel Alliance Television): Don't trust him - he is finding some nefarious purpose in going to Disneyland. Just because he was pretending to be stabbed by play lightsabers doesn't mean he isn't doing something evil.

EEN (Evil Empire News): Lord Vader has taken a summer job, being humiliated by the Jedi. Some speculate that after these performances, he absconds with the most talented padawans and twists them to his own personal brand of evil (which is available at all good mercantile establishments).

Univison: No se proque you tengo que discursar de esto - debo compartir una storia que toque la gente latino. Pue, supongo que hay muchos latinos en disneylandia, pero....

Darth Rev.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Membership Drive

Occasionally, the forces of evil combine and join in the powerful force of a membership drive! This is modeled after public radio's fund-raising drive - but instead of asking for cash, we're asking for your devotion to the side of evil. There are many different levels of membership:

Death Star Tech
Storm Trooper
Al Queda
Accountant
Sith Apprentice
Lawyer
Sith Lord
Emperor
Dick Cheney

You can choose the amount of evil you want t o commit on a daily or weekly basis, and then select the level that is right for you. Operators are standing by to help you achieve your best, err, worst possible outcome.

So, recruit your friends. They are not limited to the Empire for being a source of evil - but it helps, and we've got great health benefits (and cookies) Mwahaha - who can deny the power of the darth cookie? Sooooo gooey, soft, warm, and packed full of evil calories! It is a wonder of evil engineering :) Like the death star, but in cookie form.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Job-less Vader


As some of you may know - being the Lord of the Sith does not pay very well, and in spite of being Rev Darth, I still have bills to pay - and the Empire laid me off during these difficult financial times. I have been working on finding a new job, which has made the blogging more difficult. Sorry I was gone for so long, kick an ewok for me, hehe - I mean, Mwahahaha.

Rev Darth